Erin Go Run

AFC Half

For the runs, for the talks, for the gossip, for the secrets, for the jokes, for the adventures, for trying new things, for the Japanese treats every Wed, for abs class, for yoga, for surviving (barely) yoga for athletes, for half ass lifting, for PB/MB runs, for the ride to Jamba on my last day of work, for the races, for the birthdays, for the lunches, for the races, for the threesome (wink), for all the trips to the park (double wink), for the motivation, for the occasional rest (laziness), for the inspiration, for the support, for the comfort, for the eVis office visits, for the morning coffee, for the green tea, for the Matcha, for the compliments, for the bluntness, for the honesty, for the white lies, for the fun, for the pain, for hills, for the speed, for the friendship….

I am forever grateful!

Happy Belated Birthday, George! Here is a Haiku for you:

Step hair bounces step
As he glides up College Hill
Timeless memories

Reading my college roommate and best friend’s blog, she challenged herself to a 100 push-up, 6 week binge of healthy. I can only jump on the bandwagon and do this myself since my previous challenge (my new year’s resolution to do 100 push ups and 200 sit ups everyday) has already fizzled.

And the way I see it, if I am already stuck indoors making a 30 minute Wii active workout my replacement for a decent run, then I may as well add a challenge to my day.

Thanks, Rachie… always inspiring.

Rachie and I

Language, according to Ferdinand De Saussure extends beyond the primitive understanding that it consists of a list of signs; a list of words corresponding to the things they name. Instead, he proposed the idea that language, as it pertains to signs, consists of several components on varying levels. The linguistic sign unites, not a thing and a name, but a concept and a sound-image. With that, our words become ideas, and our ideas have meaning. Therefore, the sign (an object or word), together with the signified (its concept) and signifier (sound image), create language.

If we were to apply Saussure’s theory of language into that of running, we might discover the meaning of motivation and furthermore establish a basic understanding of where it originates from. (At the same time, keeping in mind Saussure’s argument on conformity to reality, this association of motivation is mine, so some might disregard this as imagined.) Finally, motivation will bring us back to the root of why I run.

As it applied several weeks ago, motivation had no meaning to my running. It was another word applied, but largely disconnected, to the mindless struggle of placing one foot in front of another at a rate which would redefine “run” to mean nothing. My actions of running held no regard for that which it should have meant to me; I could hardly understand running, as I was dislocated from what it meant in San Diego.

But to define my recent spark of motivation, scholars would argue that I simply acquired the linguistic understanding of motivation. In other words, I connected the sign, motivation, with its signifier, a conceptual understanding of my potential, with the signified, the sound-image of my motivation; “Yeah,” by Usher.

Motivation, as a concept, requires an understanding of one’s potential. The existence of a threshold in which to constantly strive for offers the concept of motivation to meet that threshold. Motivation, therefore, is a conscious effort to defy that runner’s potential, either meeting or surpassing it. In doing this, the signifier of working to that potential requires with it a signified sound-image in order for Motivation to exist as a sign.

Upon the initial beats of “Yeah,” the sound-image becomes a part of the concept of relating the conscious effort to defy my threshold of running with the now defined sign, running. Therefore, with Usher and motivation “run” becomes understood linguistically, allowing me to do that which I apparently hadn’t been able to do before- run.

Motivation is a runner’s best friend, and also worst enemy. When motivation is high, running is phenomenal. When motivation is low, there is nothing but time it seems until that motivation returns. It would seem obvious at this point (being as my last blog post in June was a missed marathon race) that my motivation has been on the down and outs in the last couple of months. When I moved to Omaha for graduate school, I was excited for a change, but not in my running. I am slowly realizing that I had taken San Diego for granted and the complaints about city running, the asphault, the hills are all very much missed as I struggle to do 30 minute runs.

Some of this lack of motivation I attribute to the fact that Omaha doesn’t know me as the runner (yes, those countless runner jokes and nicknames at eVisibility are highly missed). To most people I meet out here, I am the quiet English student, the California girl, or the distant cousin however many times removed. If no one expects me to run, of no one expects me to be the motivator, then doggone it, I ain’t gonna run. And at times, I do that. Instead of going one or two days without running before going crazy, I struggle to run every 3 or 4 days.

Until this week; and this is my challenge more than my motivation. I have designed a calendar upon which I have color-coded my runs. Any run lower than a certain time or number of miles will be colored red; anything over a certain goal will be green, and something in between will be orange. Thus, taking advantage of the last days of Fall, I will bring those colors to my running calendar.

*As my motivation increases, I hope also that my blog posts do as well. There is so much to write about in my experience in Omaha; it’s a shame for anyone to miss it (especially myself).

It’s a hard thing to get over. I went along as if everything would go smoothly. I didn’t plan ahead and I waited until the last minute to try and make it work. Many would say it’s my fault. But when I look back and think about the bib number that was supposed to be mine, I just feel empty and a large void in my heart fills with bitterness. Racing is that one relationship that you have where everything is somewhere between a happy comfortable and an obligatory love. On a day to day basis, you look ahead to the race with an eagerness to build as much strength and confidence in it, but once the process of going through it gets underway you begin to learn about those nagging little details that make it a little tough to handle at times.

I’ve never missed a road race that I signed up for. I’ve shown up slightly buzzed, with little or no sleep, and even found myself in a port-o-potty when the gun went off in more than one instance. But I’ve never missed a race, let alone made a decision not to go… until Seattle. And not running it feels like a bad breakup. Seeing results, reading blogs, and hearing about it ignite a deep tearing feeling deep in my gut making me angry at the world but even more at myself for effing it up and not putting more effort into it.

And then I begin to feel regret. If I had done just one thing different; purchased a plane ticket further than one week in advance, I might have had a better shot at going. And I can’t forget about the void that I had to try and fill all weekend; which failed miserably. I tried to go out and run a long 17 mile run to try and mimic the pain of the race, but instead I lied in bed and felt bad for myself. Finally, to make it all worse, I looked up the results of the race and saw that I might have placed in the top 25 females (assuming I at least tied my previous marathon time). If that wasn’t “just kick you in the crotch, spit on your neck fantastic,” I don’t know what is.

Today is Bike to work day, so being the athlete that I am (the kind looking for attention from others) I took the challenge to bike from Pacific Beach to Carlsbad; basically a 30 mile bike ride. The problem is, I had already committed to meet a friend to run in Carlsbad at 7:15am. In other words, it required me leaving by 5:15 if I had any chance of making it in time (I usually allow for the time I waste being paranoid about my tires and the times I stop to pump them up just in case). Leaving in the vicinity of on time, I started the trek to work (or to meet up for the run). Not within 1 mile from my house I flew down a hill without brakes and nearly lost my bike and life. Luckily I only lost my water bottle. I had to contemplate if I should continue risking my life or not. But my dedication to running forced me to tread on.

The bike ride was smooth. I only stopped for tire paranoia one time. The other many stops I had to take were to text back and forth between co workers and boyfriends trying to figure out a way to get a co worker a ride. Texting my co worker that I might be late for the run, he texts back that his car broke down and he won’t make it. So begins the back and forth calling and texting trying to set him up with a ride, meanwhile trying to get a hold of another co worker that will be riding in to work with me. Needless to say, it was a stop and go ride. All this after a night in LA, and only a couple hours of sleep; boy what a morning. My biggest fear of the morning was getting to work in one piece. Now that I am here, I can worry about the conversations that might have taken place between boyfriend and co worker.

After running the Carlsbad 5000 and doing a fairly decent job at it, I have rekindled a motivation for some shorter distance races. I finished the 5K in 20:02, almost breaking into the 19’s (which hasn’t happened since college).

That being said, my slight cockiness has driven me to sign up for the following races:

Run Through the Vineyards- May 9, 2009 Temecula, CA

San Diego Rock and Roll (Relay)- May 31, 2009 San Diego, CA

Camp Pendleton Mud Run- June 6, 2009 Oceanside, CA

Updates on performance will follow. It’s nice to know that I am running comparable times to my high school and college days, all with a few more pounds and a full-time job to add to it. But then again, damn it, Erin, what were you doing in college? Breaking out of my schnide (pronounce sh-nied) up to this point I imagine.

I am currently watching the Boston Marathon via the web (these are the times that I thank our technological advances). The men have split up and the lead women are still in a tight pack of about 7 women. With only miles to go, the women are at 2:19 and the men at 1:51. This is indeed a very fast race and exciting to watch. Missing the opportunity to sign up in time, I have to resort to living vicariously through the race. Thanks to Universal Sports, I am able to sit at work and still feel the nervousness and the adrenaline of these runners.

Ryan Hall, my former love (current eye candy), is holding up well. He held the lead for a good portion of the race, and though the lead pack got ahead, he was within eye shot of the leader, and gaining ground. He’s always been an amazing runner, ever since the days in High School when he sweat on me when breaking 9 minutes in the two mile.

As they passed Fenway Park and headed for the finish, the women took it down to the very last step. Passing Kara Goucher, Dire Tune and Salina Kosgei took turns passing one another until Salina gave one last push to win by a step. Dire Tune fell to the ground, hopefully she is doing well, and Kara Goucher finished in tears, and rightfully so. She held her ground for most of the race. For the men, it was decided about miles from the finish. Deriba Merga took the win in 2:08, with Ryan Hall within a minute from him finishing in 2:09. What a great race.

A little closer to home, my good friend and former USD teammate, Jessica Karlsson, finished the race in 3:27:47. She ran a sub-8 minute pace (7:56)! Her Husband, Andreas ran a 2:55:15, at a 6:41 pace! Great job guys!  What a day!

Sometimes getting into running can be hard. Often times when I try to coerce friends and colleagues into running with me, I get the “I can’t run more than a mile,” “I only run from the cops,” and the best one, “I don’t run for fun” at which point I call it their loss and go running.

This last week hasn’t been my proudest as far as building miles up. Battling with a knee possibly injury, I have opted to swim all week in order to save a useless trip to the doctor who will inevitably tell me to rest my knee and try swimming.

Because I am not running, it seems natural that my motivation would take it pretty hard. That was, until I came across this blog: Run Lindsay, Run. This is a blog about a girl who admits to being a couch potato and is determined to run an 18 mile race in October. It’s the triumphs in others that make me proud to be the runner I am. As far as not running, I’ll just have to wait it out and keep swimming.

Follow Lindsay’s blog and help her to succeed in the race.

After taking some blogging time off in the last couple of months, I am happy to report my return to Erin Go Run. Luckily, its just blogging that I’ve been lazy on. As for training, I have been running through the usual aches and pains, an injury or two, the rain, January San Diego heat, and taken up several extra-curricular activities to add some variety to my life.

I am also proud to report that I have taken up coaching in the smallest degree, helping my roommates train for the upcoming Mud Run this June. I haven’t been as stringent on the 6am wake up calls as of yet, but that is soon to start once I can get myself out of bed.

As for now, I am possibly going to run a half marathon this Sunday and a 5k in April. I suppose spontaneity is my goal as far as races this year; save for the Seattle Marathon I am already signed up for in late June.

Finally, as a quick update, I am looking to head to graduate school this fall, and most likely in a location that doesn’t have the same winters as San Diego. Therefore, I am looking for any type of advice on how to dress, how to stay motivated, and how to survive in winter weather while still keeping up with my intense running schedule. Which brings me to this post at Team Cross Runs. This post discusses how to survive a run in -21 degree weather…

… Sounds brutal.