The De-Virgination of a non-runner: College Hill- Holy (Japanese four character word)! I thought as I took a minute to re-examine what my definition of “mile-high” was. No longer did it have the same meaning, especially after College. No planes, no…. no. This was just the two of us, College, and about 7 minutes of getting to know my body in a way that will forever be scarred throughout different parts of it. Of course, I managed to get through the eternity of those seven minutes, and when I saw the end in sight couldn’t help but let out an awkward sigh of relief. The pain lingered, and no doubt I was exhausted. It left me with a tired feeling, sort of dizzy as well. Thinking back on the challenge that just was, I felt a bit of confidence in the fact that I made it (blocking out the struggle and pain to keep up with the experienced one). Up to this point up College, my body didn’t know what it meant to push; but this was all before the La Costa experience, the shittiest achievement before the big day…
The Triple Fold of Running: La Costa and Back- Running La Costa and Back carries the same expectations as the poo you will take after a big fancy meal at an expensive steak restaurant. The goal is to push for as long as you can without breaking, giving up, or tightening up so much that you can’t finish. With a steady movement, and periodic relaxation, this shit can be easy. Something like this takes a commitment of an hour plus, so make sure your ass is prepared. Look, it’s more of a skill than people realize. You can’t control everything that is going on, but there are ways to make it go smoother. With controlled, rhythmic breathing, you can ensure success despite traffic or anything else that might present obstruction. No doubt, you will sweat. If you strain too hard, you might end up curled over on your side with nothing to show but a constant shitty feeling and a bloated stomach.
The Long-Term Dead End Serious Relationship: AFC Half Marathon- I saw the end coming from the beginning. Actually, maybe not the very beginning. In the beginning I was relaxed, still kind of nervous, but had the adrenaline to see where this would take me. But I knew it was just going to be a long run on the road to nowhere. There weren’t even many ups and downs to keep it exciting. It just went downhill at the very beginning. I held on, thinking it would be easy from there on out, but it wasn’t. The end was such an uphill battle too. Eventually I had to call it quits and so now here I am- here we are, finished. I have had to work hard to challenge myself, but I thought I would have ended up better than I did. It’s mentally draining to try and focus on my own performance while there are so many people around me going for the same goal. I won’t say the whole thing was worthless, because it wasn’t, but like all relationships gone sour, all I can think about is how miserable I felt towards the last half of the whole thing when I felt like I wa the only one working through it, and how it left me empty at the end. Just give me my shirt, and I will be on my way. It’s not that this didn’t mean anything to me, but I need something more, a bigger challenge, a marathon.
Giving up has never been something to boast about, but it faces us at certain times in our lives and challenges us to either stand up to it and succeed or let it overpower us and mark us with defeat. About one year ago, I faced not my biggest failure, but definitely had some challenges that tried damn hard to make me fail. In the end, I probably did. But now I have a second chance. Even though I am much happier now than I was a year ago, it doesn’t make me feel any more prepared for something like success.
Last year at this time I had just broken up with my boyfriend and was avoiding the task of learning how to move on. We had been on the verge of the outs for an amount of time, so it could be considered an expected event. Learning to be alone though, that is never something that you can prepare for. Training-wise, I not only set my expectations so high, but I set them as if I knew I would fail. I hadn’t trained for the race, thinking that I could run another 3:27 like I did the first time. I guess I didn’t figure in a time prediction that added a minute per pound that I gained since then.
Thinking back to the race not only defeats me, but it puts me right back in the heartbroken and slower spot that I finished the race in. I hung my finisher’s certificate on my wall, forcing me to read it every day; forcing me to remember what I did to deserve that. Sometimes it can pump me up, but mostly it disappoints me.
This year should be different. I have reconciled with boyfriend, and we maintain a strong friendship that should motivate me this year instead of crushing me like last year. I have been training more and more, some mileage increase but mostly intensity. As I prepare to set this year’s expectations, I think back on the mistakes I made last year and how I have changed in order to hopefully avoid the same outcome. I still have my expectations set up for defeat, but with the prior knowledge of it. I don’t learn from all of my defeats, and I don’t always improve or succeed the second time. But I do get to go into it in a better mental and physical state; and that gives me hope.
I stumbled upon this funny blog post on the natural enemies of runners. They are not only funny because they are true, they are just funny. Check out the great post!
Little snippet:
“2. Your Ipod Shuffle
Few things will torpedo your run faster than a bad song coming up on your Shuffle. You’re clicking along at a nice pace feeling good and suddenly “Brick” by Ben Folds Five comes on. Before you can frantically stab at the skip button your gait has slowed, you’re feeling melancholy as hell and you just went to step out into traffic.” (taken from website)
I am in the process of working on a post about my weak moments in my last race, the La Jolla Half Marathon, but until that is done here are a couple of inspiring and tragic stories. The first is about the one and only Ryan Hall. He seems impenetrable, but even he has had weak moments along the way. The second one is the sad story of Ryan Shay. He has inspired all of us, and continues to; this is his wife’s story. Makes anyone proud to be in the running community.
Running after you win the March Madness work bracket pool is like running on thin air. You feel no pain, you are smiling for once in your life, and you feel unstoppable. There is a very different feeling that you get after such a victory; kind of like winning a race, but you aren’t as worn out because you didn’t have to play in the tournament to win.
I ran like I have never run on little sleep and no food energy. It was a great feeling, and the whole time I was motivated because instead of telling myself that I was running to that refreshing Gatorade I was running to a pot of money. Go Kansas!
You don’t have to win to run well. Sometimes all you need is a little confidence and something to distract you. J
This is a story about a woman in Philadelphia who started a running group to get people “back on track.”
Inspiring, really….and worth a read (that isn’t my blog)…
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/04/02/heroes.mahlum/index.html
